Teaching Formal Dining Etiquette to 8^th Grade Guys: Mission Impossible

May 24, 2003

It’s been a month since my last email to you all. To my college roommate who inquired, I will tell him that the combination of changing software and computer systems took much longer than expected, with more bugs than a reasonable person might expect. To the rest of you who enjoyed the break, it’s over. Anyone who is interested in how I handled it might get an idea from watching the Hulk in theaters next month.

I knew there would be lots of changes with a daughter, but one of my favorites is hair. We don’t comb Katie’s hair exactly; we use a pick, and then we braid it.

After her hair is picked, it is often MY turn to have my hair picked. For those that don’t know me, there isn’t much left to pick, and the rest is so straight that a pick is probably not the greatest tool to use. This hasn’t deferred Katie, and so don’t be surprised if the next time you see me there isn’t a bit of curl in my hair.

We had the eighth grade formal recently. It is a tradition at RVA; the sponsors of the class put together a big dinner and they try to make it as fancy as they can. They sent us a 20 page document to review with our guys on formal manners.

I truly love these guys, but it was as close to mission impossible as anything we have done out here. We asked my former students from last year for tips about the formal, and to a student, each guy had one comment:

Make sure the food is good.

This did not bode well for a formal evening, but we pressed on. Nancy set out a formal table, and tried to explain what each utensil was for. That was interesting in itself, but when we tried to explain some of the rules of fine dining, it really got fascinating:

Nancy: Never leave the table unless you are ill.

Them: (Actual Question) If you have stinky gas but it isn’t loud, do you have to leave?

Me: Make sure you cut your meat in small pieces.

Them: (Actual Question) If you are cutting your meat and it slides off and hits a girl in the face, can you get another piece of meat?

Nancy: Put your napkin on your lap.

Them: (Actual Question) If you spill something on a girl, are you supposed to wipe her off?

(Dapper JT before the formal)

The big day came, and I got to tie ties for at least 10 of the guys, and fix the rest of them. It was raining (more on that later) and so I drove the guys down to the cafeteria, which is where the gala event was to occur. When one of the guys saw a few of the girls (who all looked very lovely) he shouted `We are SO dead’ and no one laughed. That’s how they felt, but when they came home, they all commented on how much they enjoyed it. Being a dorm parent can be trying, but getting to see a bunch of guys enjoy a rite of passage is very rewarding.

It has rained here for the last month almost every day, which has made it so difficult for people who live in mud homes, which is most of the people who live around here. We’ve had more rain than anyone can remember, and while it is great to see everything green, so many people are cold, and so many homes are falling apart.

Kijabe is in a high elevation. Because of that, it is colder than most places in Africa. I don’t know anyone who has a heating system in Africa; when it is cold, you put on more layers. Yet for many Africans, one set of clothes is all they have. Imagine being cold and never being able to get warm. We don’t have heat in our home, but it is stone and we are dry.

It came home when I visited a new school we are feeding this week. Because of the rain and a concern about terrorist activity (BA cancelled all flights to Nairobi) we have needed to stay close to campus. The roads are so bad that two of the schools still don’t have their food; we can’t get close enough to deliver them without getting stuck.

I got to speak to a classroom, and I told them the food was from people in the United States who loved Jesus and loved them. I told them that it was important that they did well, because they were the future leaders of Africa and a great nation needed great leaders. I said `Africa is a great nation.’

Tepidly, a few students said yes. So I said it louder: Africa is a GREAT nation!!’ This time, several shouted `YES!!’

So I said it at the top of my lungs: `Africa is a GREAT NATION!!!’

The yell of yes went on for over thirty seconds. Sometimes, it is good to be me.

This school has 850 students and 14 staff members. The pictures show the long lines of children waiting to get fed. While kids were waiting for their food, I was talking to them about this and that. One little girl came up and said `Thank you for your food.’

I asked her when she ate. She told me that she ate at lunch Monday through Saturday, and her parents prepared a meal at home on Sundays.

I asked her if it was good food. She told me it was very good, but her favorite part of it was that it made her feel warm. I wasn’t sure I understood, so I asked her what she meant. She told me that during the rainy season, she was always cold, but eating hot food made her feel warmer.

Sometimes I just need to look away.

Your pal.

Steve

Steve and Nancy Peifer

Kenya Address: PO Box 80 Kijabe Kenya 00220

Stateside Address: PO Box 178 Pearl River,NY 10965

Phone: 011-254-20-32046-252

peifer@kijabe.net

http://peifer.kijabe.org

PS. Please note that our email has changed and our old won’t work for much longer. The new email is peifer@kijabe.net

PPS. I will be in the states for three weeks this summer. If you get a chance, will you send me your phone number?