Great Moments in Bad Acting: The Eighth Grade Attacks a Play

March 12, 2004

Nancy had this conversation with one of our dorm guys the night before the big play:

Nancy: Do you feel ready?

Them: I’ve memorized all my lines. I just haven’t figured out when I say them.

And so it was, a glorious night of missed cues, mumbling, and acting so bad it made you feel good about yourself. It was like a night in the states when you can’t sleep and turn on the TV and get to watch a really really bad Japanese monster movie; so bad it is good, and you are so glad it’s not you up on the stage that the world somehow seems brighter. And it was like my golf game, average with glimpses of brilliance.

Nancy and I went to make another attempt at getting the travel papers for the twins. We arrived at the immigration building at 9:00am.

9:00am: We wait in line to submit our paperwork.

9:30 am: Our turn in the lines arrives. The government official looks at our paperwork and informs us that we need dependent’s passes for the twins. This is a new one for us, and we are directed to another line.

9:45 am: Another government official tells us it will take months to process the paperwork. We ask if there is any way to expedite the process. She tells us to go to the fifth floor and ask them if they will help us.

!0:00 am: We leave the building and walk around to another side and get on the elevator. We jump off when we realize that there is no fifth floor that it stops on. After several attempts with several elevators, we realize that we should go to the sixth floor and walk down.

10:15 am: We knock on several doors, and are finally directed to a room where an official tells us that she will do the paperwork. We should just go back downstairs and request that the paperwork be brought upstairs.

10:20 am: We walk down the stairs and wait in line to request the paperwork be brought upstairs. We wait in line.

10:45 am: We are invited to go back upstairs with the paperwork.

10:50 am: The government official tells us she will be done at 3. We explain that we have an appointment at the US Embassy at 1:30 that we cannot miss. She tells us to come back at noon.

10:50 am: We walk downstairs and wait.

11:45 am: We walk up five floors. The government official tells us we must downstairs to pay our fees. Mindful that the offices close at 12:30 for lunch, we run down five flights of stairs and wait in line.

11:55 am: We pay our fees and run up five flights of stairs. We wait outside the office.

12:10 pm: The government official informs us that she is done, and that we should go to another office to retrieve it.

12:20 pm: The new government official tells us it will not be ready until the afternoon.

There is someone at RVA that does this kind of work full time. He refers to it as human Pac-Man. After 9/11 and the recent attacks in Madrid, you understand why a government wants to be careful. But it is hard to understand this, and the waste of time and resources days like this consume. And we are not much closer to getting the paperwork we must have to leave with the twins.

We went to a school we had never visited today; Umhatru. It is the most remote school I’ve ever been to since I have been going to schools. The children were not used to white faces, and one little girl cried whenever I looked at her. (Note to friends especially from Kansas: no comments necessary here)

It was desperately poor. And there was a sign on the door that would just break your heart.